There is a large group of people out there who have some sort of personal vendetta against Valentine’s Day.
Sure it’s an arbitrary day, placed in the dead center of the year’s most depressing month to heighten American consumerism, but who the hell cares? It’s an opportunity to be a suave/hopeless romantic. Let’s have fun with it.
You may already have some pre-disposed plan comprised of roses, dinner and a well-crafted late-night playlist (mine is called Night Moves and ironically lacks the titular Bob Seger track) but if you’re open to some romantic suggestions, I’ve put together a chronological breakdown of the perfect Valentine's Day utilizing a wide array of LA tech companies:
7:30 a.m.: The Preparation
Ask any professional athlete or performer — preparation is the key to success. The same goes for February 14th. Take a little extra time in your morning beauty routine and utilize the landscaping capabilities of
’s affordable razors. Your significant other will thank you later.
11 a.m.: The Public Display
Listen, I know it’s cliche, but it has to happen — you need to get her flowers. And it’s best to get this predictable move out of the way early. With
, you can order her bouquet ahead of time and ship it to her office. She’ll receive the flowers in front of her jaded, possibly passive-aggressive, female coworkers and we all know flowers smell so much better when mixed with the lingering aroma of jealousy.
6 p.m.: The Quirky Gift
Levity is key to a successful Valentine’s Day. When they get home from work, surprise them with a custom made t-shirt or sweatshirt from
. The app lets you use any photo on your phone to create your own design. I suggest an extreme close up of your face or you in a George Costanza-esque pose. Wear them together and look like idiots. It’ll be great.
7 p.m.: Home-field advantage
Going out to a romantic restaurant has long been the standard move but, if you’re feeling up to it, there is a far better option that will not only gain you a few points but save you a few bucks while you’re at it. Use a step-by-step cooking guide like
to help you find and cook the perfect meal. Light some candles, establish some atmosphere and don’t worry about getting behind the wheel at any point. Just remember to keep it light, you won’t want a big meal weighing you both down when the lights go out.
8 p.m.: The Optional Distraction
To be honest, on important dates I avoid going to see shows all together. They make conversation impossible and run the risk of killing the mood. I’d rather share stories at full volume than fidget and whisper in an over-crowded theater. But for those so inclined, head to
to find affordable tickets for some of the city’s best shows. Choose wisely.
9 p.m.: The 4th Quarter
Normally I wouldn’t venture into this territory. I don’t know what you’re in to. I don’t want to know what you’re in to. But for those desperate for suggestions, you may want to start with ordering some revealing — hopefully flattering— undergarments from
. If that’s not your style, they have a wide selection of pajamas and sweats to keep you comfy if you plan on taking that “Netflix and Chill” suggestion literally.
For the rest of you, I’d suggest some eco-friendly bubble bath from
(you’re saving your relationship and the environment!) Afterwards, you can get between your sheets and take it from there.
I hope the words of this quasi-experienced 25-year-old have inspired you to get more creative this Valentine’s Day. Will I personally be utilizing any of these tips? No. I will be on an airplane attempting to charm an American Airlines stewardess into an emergency exit row upgrade or, at very least, another miniature bottle of Tanqueray.